this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
