just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Enjoy the penises
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
