WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
