Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
