I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
His nipple licking is glorious
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