thus making me awesome and them whores
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
