Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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