What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
