Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Is it penis luge time yet?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
