Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
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