Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize