Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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