Already got asked if we're dating
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
