So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize