five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I wear drunk well.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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