Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
