I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
