I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
