I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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