Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
