it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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