she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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