lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
