Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Too much gin, very little bucket
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
