Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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