There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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