so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
