I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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