We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
