God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
