one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
