let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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