woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
