he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
