a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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