Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
