the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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