Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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