you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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