Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
