I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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