Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
