There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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