I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
