I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
