we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
