i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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