Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
