I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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