so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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