after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
