i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
