I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I am naked and annoyed.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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