Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
