Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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