I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Randomize
