I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
