wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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