Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
