umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
