Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
