google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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